A survey by Netmums has revealed that in many cases children feel very differently about the impact of their parents separation than their parents believe.
Worryingly 14% of children felt unable to be honest with their parents about their feelings and 2 in 5 admitted hiding their feelings from their parent to avoid upsetting them.
Talking to your children around the time of a divorce can be very difficult and there is no one way of doing it that suits every family. However, the important thing is that you DO talk. Its also often helpful for as many other aspects of a child’s life as possible to be kept constant. For example the school that they attend or the activities that they are involved in.
Whilst it is important to be honest with your children exposing them to adult tensions or worries is not a good idea and however hard it may be it is important to try not to talk about such things in the presence of the children.
Sometimes it may help a family to have some more professional support in dealing with separation either in the form of a counsellor or parenting coach.
Refreshingly children are however remarkably adaptable and 64% of those asked stated that they did not see divorce as a “big deal” within society compared with just 28% of parents.
At Higgins Miller we believe that the best way to reduce trauma within a divorce for the children is to resolve matters in the most amicable and fair way possible. If you are separating and need some advice about how to do this in the best way to protect your children then please contact us.